Fundraiser

29 Thursday Feb 2024

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I am doing a fundraiser to help pay for marketing and editing for my two books. If you could donate, it would be appreciated by both me and my audio book narrators. If not, please help spread the word. Here is the link for more information.

https://www.indiegogo.com/project/preview/210fa344

Here’s to Chocolate Appreciation Day

14 Wednesday Feb 2024

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A team of random experts met at the very descriptively named Headquarters for Science and Research Program (HARP). Among those present was Dr. Heather Wallace, a chocolate psychologist. “Hold up!” You might ask. “Chocolate needs a psychologist?”

You might have a point there, but moving on.

I asked this team of experts about this meeting. They had words to say:

“February 14th is an important day, at least in the United States,” she told Journal of Alternative Sciences and Facts.

“That’s right!” Agreed Calendar Biologist Jake Williams. “Actually, it goes by a lot of different names.”

He tapped the calendar on the February 14th date.

“Valentine’s Day, St. Valentine’s Day. Singles’ Awareness Day.” 

Dr. Wallace pulled out an Advalentine’s Calendar–which, sources have confirmed, is not an actual thing–and opened several of the flaps.

“Or, as we call it at HARP, Chocolate Appreciation Day.”

That’s it, folks. Happy Chocolate Appreciation Day! 


At publishing time, Chocolate Appreciation Day was moved to every day.

“I’m So Antisocial,”  Empath Tells Psychopath

09 Tuesday Jan 2024

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In a meeting of the famed group that call themselves “Empaths Love Everyone [though some] People Have Apathetic or Narcissistic Tendencies”, or ELEPHANT for short.  Spearheading the group was a Miss Anya Case. The 2022 ELEPHANT conference topic: Psychopathology (mental illness) and the Diagnostic and Statistics Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (APA) Miss Case was reportedly in the restroom when the topic turned to personality disorders, Cluster B.  She had “no idea” regarding her use of language at the lunch cafe.

Case allegedly encountered infamous, diagnosed psychopath,  X Armstrong. When Armstrong noticed Case eating alone, he made a remark.

“So sorry,” she said. “I’m pretty antisocial.”

She made dreaded eye contact with one of her colleagues from ELEPHANT, who politely shook his head with disapproval. 

“You weren’t there for the Cluster B talk, were you?” He asked, according to Case.

Suddenly, Case was surrounded as the other ELEPHANT conference goers opened their DSM-5 book to the section in question.

“HAH!” Armstrong said with a strong “GOTCHA” tone. “You’re antisocial?”

At publishing time, Case still hadn’t admitted her mistake to her closest friends and family members.

I Edited and Published Some of My Short Stories

16 Saturday Dec 2023

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I wrote some short stories a while back, had them edited, and now I have independently published them. If you want to read a synopsis and/or buy a copy, here are the links:

For Kindle: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CPBZ6B1D

For Nook https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/stories-of-the-mind-af-hacker/1137951952?ean=2940185962664

For Kobo https://www.kobo.com/us/en/ebook/stories-of-the-mind-1

On Smashwords https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1051200

OCD: An Op-Ed By Miss Nobody:

08 Friday Dec 2023

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Will someone please tell me who created spring cleaning?!? It needs to be illegal. Seriously, I have OCD, which means I need a p e r f e c t l y clean house.  In a few months, I’ll be struck with with a second case: Obsessive Christmas Disorder. My Christmas decorations need to be perfect too. Ugh. Life is hard.

Please, make it so spring cleaning and Christmas are cancelled.

Sincerely,

Miss Nobody

At publishing time, the editor stated, “I have to keep checking my text messages to make sure I didn’t accidentally type something awkward, and and didn’t send it. I wish the best to Miss Nobody, though.”

Study Finds Link Between Psychopathy, Posting About Coffee Addiction on Social Media

08 Wednesday Nov 2023

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In a recent study done by scientists at the Center for Research And Psychology (heretofore known as CRAP), extremely reliable, peer reviewed research revealed an astonishing truth. In his article “Psycoffeepy” for the CRAP Journal, Jack Schitt published his findings. He had this to say:

“We sent our researchers across the metropolis, suburbs, and even into rural areas. All these had two things in common: coffee shops and social media.  [Imagine fast paced music and teenagers strolling the suburbs while looking at their phones. They also hold cardboard cups with insulators on them. Imagine a lone woman wearing a collared shirt and knee-length black skirt. She sits alone at a table. She also has a cardboard cup.]

The residents of all three areas frequent their local coffee shops. Some frequent more than others. According to statistics we pulled from no cited sources, 88% of the population drinks coffee.  That is not surprising, and obviously not unusual. Some of these people have apparent consciences, but there’s another demographic. [The music gets faster paced].87.5% of these coffee drinkers post daily to their social media accounts. For example: “Can’t live without my coffee.” “Coffee is my only joy in life.” These are 98% more likely to exhibit symptoms of psychopathy. They may go on and commit murder should their coffee be taken from them. These are the ones that should concern society. It’s just science.”

Schitt, Jack. “Psycoffeepy”. CRAP Journal 1:1. October 4. 2021.